Let me introduce myself. I am a burglar, a thief, an intruder. I have turned crime into an art form. Just like you spend time improving your job skills, I am constantly looking for ways to perfect mine. Like all professionals, I have trade secrets. Shhh… don’t tell anyone else, but I am about to share 20 of my favorite ones with you.
1. I like carrying a pen and a clipboard. It makes me feel professional and maybe you and your neighbors will believe I am. Sometimes, I’ll dress like a lawn guy and carry a rake. Whatever attire I choose, I do my best to never, ever look like a crook.
2. Top two things I hate: barking dogs, especially ones that sound big and vicious. I hate nosy neighbors too. I wish people would just mind their own business and not worry about what goes on in your house.
3.I love looking in your windows. I look for signs that you’re home, and for big ticket items like your flat screen TVs or gaming systems. I can be patient. I’ll drive or walk through your neighborhood a few times at night, before you close the blinds, just to pick my targets.
4. Speaking of windows, I don’t mind breaking one to get in, even if it makes some noise. If your neighbor hears one loud sound, he might stop what he’s doing and wait to hear it again. If he doesn’t hear anything else, he’ll most likely go back to what he was doing. It’s just human nature.
5. Or you just might leave that window open just a crack during the day. In your mind, you are just letting in a little fresh air. In my mind, it’s an invitation.
6. Remember when I came by dressed like a lawn guy? I actually did work in your yard. And when you let me use the bathroom, I unlatched the back window to make my return a little easier.
7. Not that I mind, but why would you pay all that money for a monitored alarm system and then leave your house without setting it? You’d be better off getting a simple battery operated motion detector.
8. It’s raining. Your hands are full with your umbrella and your briefcase. I can see how you would forget to lock your door. Just remember – I don’t take days off because of bad weather. Thanks for making it easy for me to enter. I don’t really like getting wet either.
9.Do I look familiar? That’s because I was here last week cleaning your carpets, fixing your roof or delivering your new dishwasher.
10. I have a Facebook page and a Twitter account. We may not be friends, but your friends are my friends. When you announce your vacation on there, all I have to do is look up your address. Don’t forget to send a postcard!
11. Think your valuables are safe in your sock drawer? Think again. I always check drawers, nightstands and medicine cabinets. Your tidy whities are not sacred to me. I have even been known to steal some if they are in a package and my size.
12. I almost never go into kids’ rooms.
13. I hate those hidden safes that look like something else. I just don’t have time to check everything in your pantry or under your sink.
14. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up in the driveway, and a full mailbox. I might even leave a sales flyer in your front door to see how long it takes for you to remove it.
15.If your front door has decorative glass, don’t have your alarm control pad installed right next to it where I can see if it is set.
16. No, I won’t have enough time to break into your safe. I’m a burglar, not a safe cracker. But if it’s not bolted down, it’s coming with me.
17. A good alarm system includes contacts on the windows. Don’t forget the ones on the second floor, especially those that access your bedrooms. You might want to put a motion detector up there too.
18. If it snows while you are out of town, ask a neighbor to create car and foot tracks in the driveway. Untouched snow is a dead giveaway. I don’t mind being the first to leave a footprint. Heck, if I have enough time, I might even leave a snow angel for you.
19. I always knock first. If you answer, I’ll pretend to be lost and ask for directions, or offer to work on your lawn.
20.If you don’t answer, I’ll try the door. Maybe your hands were full (See #8). I might just get lucky and be able to walk right in.
Don’t let this guy have easy access to your home. Visit the Home Protection site to find easy to use, effective ways to keep him out.